Betrayal

I feel it all over my body.

It slides down my cheeks like salty, watery jewels,
Leaving trails as it falls, splashing without a sound.

It feels like fire, burning through my veins and singeing my bones,
Destroying me from the inside out.

It's like a cancer, it grows and spreads and there are very few ways to treat it,
So it feels like death is tiptoeing closer, whispering darkness into weary ears.

It is bile and acid threatening to peak and leave stains on the carpet,
Like the scars I feel etching their permanent marks on my heart.

It is jumbled thoughts and no voice while vocal cords beg to vibrate,
It's panic and hatred and too much to handle.

It's an aching in my fingers once the numbness subsides,
And my jaw is clenched while my teeth grind like a full room of clumsy dancers.

It's like light suddenly isn't so bright and sounds are suddenly dull and distant,
Like my senses are dissolving, distorting, and suddenly I'm just… existing.

It slithers through my mind like a serpent of deceit,
Coiling around sleep and peace and trying to swallow them whole.
It's like a familiar stranger lingering in the background of every scene, every dream,
And I know it's supposed to mean something but in this world, I never understand.

And then, I wake up.

And I feel it all over my body.

It's like corrosion, eating away at my soul,
And I taste metal and emptiness.

I smell the thick black smoke of burning bridges and hope the fire won't spread,
Like a billion termites ascending upon a forest, leaving sawdust in their wake.

Gravity is suddenly stronger, and I feel I could start sinking at any moment,
Like the world could turn to quicksand and I could just give in, and suffocate.

It's like standing in a crowded room and being all alone all at once,
I could talk but I'd either be drowned out by the sound or the silence.

It is pain and anger and sadness and utter confusion,
An emotional overload that threatens to kill.

All the thieves and abusers in the world couldn't possibly inflict this feeling,
Only one thing in the world can create such bitter disaster:

Betrayal.